Self-surrender in love

There is an inherent paradox in seeking total union with another if, in that fusion, the other ceases to exist, thus destroying that which was loved and with which one sought union. In the brief moments of self-surrender in passionate love, separate selves are mingled and ego boundaries transcended so that the self is enlarged and enhanced. Self-surrender is here an empowering act. Even more extensive self-surrender may bring self-worth in devotion to the beloved or a finding of meaning in connection with the beloved. But extreme forms lead to impoverishment of the self, becoming simply an appendage of the beloved.